I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
