she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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