did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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