I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
