A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
