your thong is hanging out like whoa
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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