i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
