I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
where does the pee come out of this thing
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
