Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
