porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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