i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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