capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
