he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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