Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Plan B is the new Plan A
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
