Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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