so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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