Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
