I think i peed on brittanys purse
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
