I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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