Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
