ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
