I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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