I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
