Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think my vagina is haunted
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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