She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
