it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
