Duck Duck Cougar?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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