Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Porn is love you can see.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
