Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
