I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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