Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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