I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
