So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
