did you get engaged???
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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