I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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