wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
