Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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