Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We got so high we made milksteak
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
