halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Enjoy the penises
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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