Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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