it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
