we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You almost got us killed.
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