dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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