After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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