I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
