let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
