i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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