i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
