he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
