Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
